SUPPORT & ADVICE
MENTAL HEALTH
There are four main types of mental health, these are:
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Mood disorders (such as depression or bipolar disorder)
Anxiety Disorders
Personality Disorders
Psychotic disorders (such as schizophrenia)
WHAT IS A MOOD DISORDER?​
A mood disorder is defined as someone who has disrupted emotions and moods. These can be severe lows and highs.
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Major depressive disorder — prolonged and persistent periods of extreme sadness
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Bipolar disorder — also called manic depression or bipolar affective disorder, is depression that includes alternating times of depression and mania
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Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) — a form of depression most often associated with fewer hours of daylight in the far northern and southern latitudes from late fall to early spring
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Cyclothymic disorder — a disorder that causes emotional ups and downs that are less extreme than bipolar disorder
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Premenstrual dysphoric disorder — mood changes and irritability that occur during the premenstrual phase of a woman's cycle and go away with the onset of menses
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Persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia) — a long-term (chronic) form of depression
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Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder — a disorder of chronic, severe and persistent irritability in children that often includes frequent temper outbursts that are inconsistent with the child's developmental age
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Depression related to medical illness — a persistent depressed mood and a significant loss of pleasure in most or all activities that are directly related to the physical effects of another medical condition
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Depression induced by substance use or medication — depression symptoms that develop during or soon after substance use or withdrawal or after exposure to a medication.
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It is important to get medical support and advice, talking therapy and medication are often used to help.
ADVICE ON BULLYING AT WORK
Bullying at work can take shape or form in many different ways. If you feel as though you are experiencing bullying in the workplace, this can be a very devastating and distressing issue and bullying can affect your emotional health. You may be feeling very low and anxious at the thought of going to work and facing the individual or group that may be subjecting you to this and the bullying may also be affecting family life. Read our advice articles below for help and support
Bullying itself is not against the law, but harassment is. This is when the unwanted behaviour is related to one of the following:
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age
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sex
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disability
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gender reassignment
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marriage and civil partnership
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pregnancy and maternity
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race
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religion or belief
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sexual orientation
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Employees should see if they can sort out the problem informally first. If they cannot, they should talk to their:
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manager
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human resources (HR) department
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trade union representative
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If this does not work, they can make a formal complaint using their employer’s grievance procedure. If this does not work and they’re still being harassed, they can take legal action at an employment tribunal.
They could also call the Acas (Advisory, Conciliation, and Arbitration Service) helpline for advice:
Acas helpline
Telephone: 0300 123 1100
Textphone: 18001 0300 123 1100
Monday to Friday, 8am to 6pm
WHAT IS BULLYING
​Bullying can affect anyone children & adults and can happen in any environment.
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Although there is no legal definition of bullying, it can be described as unwanted actions or verbal remarks from a person or group that is either:
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Offensive, intimidating, malicious, or insulting.
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An abuse or misuse of power that undermines, humiliates, or causes physical or emotional harm to someone.
Bullying might:​
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Be a regular pattern of behaviour or a one-off incident.
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Happen face-to-face, on social media, via emails or calls.
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Happen at work or in other work-related situations.
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Not always be obvious or noticed by others.
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Happen in education settings.
Examples of bullying could include:
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Spreading malicious rumours about someone.
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Consistently putting someone down.
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Deliberately giving someone extra tasks or work.
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Excluding someone from activities.
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Someone consistently undermining their manager's authority.
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Putting humiliating, offensive or threatening comments or photos on social media
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Sometimes bullying might be classed as harassment, if it's related to certain 'protected characteristics' under discrimination law (Equality Act 2010).
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How to deal with bullying at school​
If you are being bullied at school, then tell a friend, teacher, and also your parents. It won't stop unless you do. It can be hard to do this so if you don't feel you can do it in person it might be easier to write a note to your parents explaining how you feel, or perhaps confide in someone outside of your family, like a grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin and ask them to help you tell your parents what's going on.
Your form tutor needs to know what is going on so try to find a time to tell him or her when it won't be noticeable. Maybe by staying back after class or even emailing them yourself. You could also speak to the school nurse. Don't be tempted to respond to any bullying or hit back because you could get hurt or get into trouble.
Bullying includes:
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People calling you names.
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Making things up to get you into trouble.
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Hitting, pinching, biting, pushing, and shoving
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Taking things away from you
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Damaging your belongings
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Stealing your money
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Taking your friends away from you
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Posting insulting messages or rumours, in person on the internet or by IM (cyberbullying)
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Threats and intimidation
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Making silent or abusive phone calls
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Sending you offensive phone texts
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Bullies can also frighten you so that you don't want to go to school, or indeed stay off school by saying you are ill.
​Hitting someone is an assault
​Try to stay in safe areas of the school & workplace at break and lunchtime where there are plenty of other people. If you are hurt, tell someone immediately and ask for it to be written down. This is a criminal offence.
​Bullying can effect your mental health and well-being.
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If you feel you can't cope and the bullying is making you ill please do speak up and go to see your doctor. Many doctors are very sympathetic about the effects of bullying and you may be able to write a note for the school/work explaining the effect that bullying is having on your health.
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​People bully others usually because they are different from them. These could include appearance, religion, behaviour, disabilities or illness, or family circumstances.
PARENTS OBSERVATIONS
Observe your child for signs they might be being bullied children may not always be vocal about being bullied. Signs include ripped clothing, hesitation about going to school, decreased appetite, nightmares, crying, or general depression and anxiety. If you discover your child is being bullied, don’t tell them to “let it go” or “suck it up”. Instead, have open-ended conversations where you can learn what is really going on at school so that you can take the appropriate steps to rectify the situation. Most importantly, let your child know you will help him/her and that they should try not to fight back.
What can I do if I am cyberbullied?
Know that it’s not your fault. What people call “bullying” is sometimes an argument between two people. But if someone is repeatedly cruel to you, that’s bullying, and you mustn’t blame yourself. No one deserves to be treated cruelly.
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Don’t respond or retaliate. Sometimes a reaction is exactly what aggressors are looking for because they think it gives them power over you, and you don’t want to empower a bully. As for retaliating, getting back at a bully turns you into one – and can turn one mean act into a chain reaction. If you can, remove yourself from the situation. If you can’t, sometimes humour disarms or distracts a person from bullying.
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Save the evidence. The only good news about bullying online or on phones is that it can usually be captured, saved, and shown to someone who can help. You can save that evidence in case things escalate.
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​Tell the person to stop. This is completely up to you – don’t do it if you don’t feel totally comfortable doing it, because you need to make your position completely clear that you will not stand for this treatment anymore. You may need to practice beforehand with someone you trust, like a parent or good friend.
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Reach out for help – especially if the behavior’s really getting to you. You deserve backup. See if there’s someone who can listen, help you process what’s going on, and work through it – a friend, relative, or maybe an adult you trust.
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Use available tech tools. Most social media apps and services allow you to block the person. Whether the harassments is in an app, texting, comments, or tagged photos, do yourself a favour and block the person. You can also report the problem to the service. That probably won’t end it, but you don’t need the harassment in your face, and you’ll be less tempted to respond. If you’re getting threats of physical harm, you should call your local police (with a parent or guardian’s help) and consider reporting it to school authorities.
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Protect your accounts. Don’t share your passwords with anyone – even your closest friends, who may not be close forever – and password-protect your phone so no one can use it to impersonate you. You’ll find advice at passwords.connectsafely.org.
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If someone you know is being bullied, take action. Just standing by can empower an aggressor and does nothing to help. The best thing you can do is try to stop the bullying by taking a stand against it. If you can’t stop it, support the person being bullied. If the person’s a friend, you can listen and see how to help.
Consider together whether you should report the bullying. If you’re not already friends, even a kind word can help reduce the pain. At the very least, help by not passing along a mean message and not giving positive attention to the person doing the bullying.​
DOMESTIC ABUSE
STAYING SAFE
Warning: if you are worried about someone knowing you have visited this website please read the following safety information. Sometimes things aren't as they appear.
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General security – be aware.​
This guide contains technical advice about what is possible to protect your devices (including your children’s devices if you have children), but different parts of this may need to happen at different times. This will depend on your individual circumstances. For example, if you change your password, someone may realise this has happened when they attempt to log in and this could lead to them escalating their behaviours. Your safety is the most important thing and some of this might be for you to consider at a later stage, for instance, when no longer in immediate danger or you have left the situation.
It is completely normal to want to get rid of a device or remove their access, but before you do this, you can be strategic about how to plan for your safety. If it would be helpful to talk this through with someone, please use a safe device to contact a professional for help. If you do not use a password to log on to your computer, someone else may be able to access your email (if your email password is saved on the device or you don’t log out after checking your email) and track your internet usage. Make sure to log out after checking your email by pressing File then Log out, rather than pressing the X to close the email window.
The following information may not completely hide your tracks. Many browser types have features that display recently visited sites. There is also spyware that can be used more secretly to track your activity. The safest way to find information on the internet, would be at a local library, a friend’s house, or at work.
You can however delete your browser history but said above isn’t 100 percent guaranteed.
lick menu > Safety > Delete Browsing History or press Ctrl+Shift+Delete. Ensure the “History” option is checked here and click “Delete”.
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On a mobile device Clear cookies, files, and other browsing data
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Tap the menu button.
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Tap Settings .
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Scroll down to Privacy and security .
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Tap Delete browsing data .
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Put a mark next to the items you want to clear.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OVERVIEW
We define domestic abuse as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading, and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, in the majority of cases by a partner or ex-partner, but also by a family member or carer.
Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:
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Coercive control (a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation, and control with the use or threat of physical or sexual violence)
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Psychological and/or emotional abuse [2].
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Physical or sexual abuse.
SIGNS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE
Emotional abuse
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:
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belittle you, or put you down?
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blame you for the abuse or arguments?
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deny that abuse is happening, or play it down?
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isolate you from your family and friends?
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stop you going to college or work?
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make unreasonable demands for your attention?
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accuse you of flirting or having affairs?
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tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?
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control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things?
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Threats and intimidation
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:
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threaten to hurt or kill you?
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destroy things that belong to you?
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stand over you, invade your personal space?
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threaten to kill themselves or the children?
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read your emails, texts or letters?
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harass or follow you?
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Physical abuse
The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways.
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:
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slap, hit or punch you?
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push or shove you?
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bite or kick you?
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burn you?
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choke you or hold you down?
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throw things?
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Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, whether they’re male or female.
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:
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touch you in a way you don’t want to be touched?
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make unwanted sexual demands?
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hurt you during sex?
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pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?
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pressure you to have sex?
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If your partner, or former partner, has sex with you when you don’t want to, this is rape.
Have you ever felt afraid of your partner or former partner?
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Have you ever changed your behaviour because you’re afraid of what your partner, or former partner, might do?
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Support a friend if they’re being abused
If you’re worried a friend is being abused, let them know you’ve noticed something is wrong.
They might not be ready to talk, but try to find quiet times when they can talk if they choose to.
If someone confides in you that they’re suffering domestic abuse:
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listen, and take care not to blame them
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acknowledge it takes strength to talk to someone about experiencing abuse
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give them time to talk, but don’t push them to talk if they don’t want to
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acknowledge they’re in a frightening and difficult situation
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tell them nobody deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser has said
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support them as a friend – encourage them to express their feelings, and allow them to make their own decisions
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don’t tell them to leave the relationship if they’re not ready – that’s their decision
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ask if they have suffered physical harm – if so, offer to go with them to a hospital or GP
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help them report the assault to the police if they choose to
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be ready to provide information on organisations LINK that offer help for people experiencing domestic abuse
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If you are worried that a friend, neighbour or loved one is a victim of domestic abuse then you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free and confidential advice, 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.
If you believe there is an immediate risk of harm to someone, or it is an emergency, you should always call 999.
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
If you are feeling suicidal you may be feeling very alone, lost, frightened, and confused. You may be feeling there is no other way out of your problems, difficulties, worries, feelings, or whatever reason you are contemplating taking your life.
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​Suicide is very final, there are no second chances, and no one knows what happens when we die.
The feelings you are having now, might not last, but that is hard to hear right now, as at this moment, you may feel there is no hope.
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There is hope, there are people who have felt like you do now, myself included, but who have found the strength to overcome this and to carry on their lives and find happiness.
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HAB Is here to support you can also contact the Samaritans Samaritans | Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy | Here to listen please click the link for support.
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Your emotions are not fixed – they are constantly changing. How you feel today may not be the same as how you felt yesterday or how you’ll feel tomorrow or next week.
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Your absence would create grief and anguish in the lives of friends and loved ones.
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There are many things you can still accomplish in your life.
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There are sights, sounds, and experiences in life that have the ability to delight and lift you – and that you would miss.
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Your ability to experience pleasurable emotions is equal to your ability to experience distressing emotions.
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If someone tells you they are suicidal do not dismiss their feelings but take what you are being told seriously. If someone puts enough trust in you to confide his/her innermost feelings you really need to listen to what is being said.​
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He/she needs to know that someone has listened to and heard their pain, that someone can recognise that he/she is in pain and hurting so try and empathise with the person and repeat back, acknowledge the pain and hurt they are in so the person knows you are trying to understand what they are feeling.
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Allow the person to talk openly about how they are feeling.
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Encourage the person to seek professional help, giving someone the chance to help them and explore with them what is happening, and to see if they can help the person see alternatives to suicide.
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SHOW THEM YOU CARE.
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Mental health problems affect about 1 in 10 children and young people. They include depression, anxiety and conduct disorder, and are often a direct response to what is happening in their life.
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Alarmingly, however, 70% of children and young people who experience a mental health problem have not had appropriate interventions at a sufficiently early age.
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Alarmingly, however, 70% of children and young people who experience a mental health problem have not had appropriate interventions at a sufficiently early age.
BEREAVEMENT
What is bereavement?
Bereavement is the experience of losing someone important to us. It is characterised by grief, which is the process and the range of emotions we go through as we gradually adjust to the loss.
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Losing someone important to us can be emotionally devastating - whether that be a partner, family member, friend, or pet. It is natural to go through a range of physical and emotional processes as we gradually come to terms with the loss. We often won’t understand the way we feel some people also go through an emptiness feeling where there is no emotion at all.
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Bereavement affects everyone in different ways, and it's possible to experience any range of emotions. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Feelings of grief can also happen because of other types of loss or changes in circumstances, for example:
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The end of a relationship
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The loss of a job
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Moving away to a new location
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A decline in the physical or mental health of someone we care about.
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Anticipatory grief is a sense of loss that we feel when we are expecting death. It features many of the same symptoms as those experienced after a death has occurred, including depression, extreme sadness, or concern for the dying person. It does not necessarily replace, reduce or make grief after the loss any easier or shorter, but for some people, it can provide the opportunity to prepare for the loss and for what the future might look like.
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After any loss you may also feel what is known as 'secondary loss'. After the initial shock of losing a loved one, you may struggle when thinking of future experiences that those people will not be there to share or see, such as watching your children grow up, meeting partners or attending key life events like weddings.
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Collective grief can happen when a community experiences a significant loss together. This might be following the death of a significant public figure or a tragedy that affects a local community. It could occur at a wider national level too.
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These kinds of major events can impact us even if we didn't personally know those who've died. They can bring up many difficult emotions and remind us of other losses in our lives. And seeing others sad could make us feel sad ourselves. But we might also find comfort in sharing and processing these events as a community.
HELP WITH FUNERAL COSTS
Get help with funeral costs (Funeral Expenses Payment): How it works - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
You could get a Funeral Expenses Payment (also called a Funeral Payment) if you get certain benefits and need help to pay for a funeral you’re arranging.
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If you live in Scotland
You can apply for a Funeral Support Payment. It has replaced Funeral Expenses Payment in Scotland.
If you receive money from the deceased’s estate
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Your Funeral Expenses Payment will be deducted from any money you get from the deceased’s estate.
The estate includes any money or property they had but not a house or personal things left to a widow, widower or surviving civil partner.
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What you’ll get:
Funeral Expenses Payment can help pay for some of the costs of the following:
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burial fees for a particular plot
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cremation fees, including the cost of the doctor’s certificate
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travel to arrange or go to the funeral
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the cost of moving the body within the UK, if it’s being moved more than 50 miles
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death certificates or other documents
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You can also get up to £1,000 for any other funeral expenses, such as funeral director’s fees, flowers or the coffin.
The payment will not usually cover all of the costs of the funeral.
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How much you get depends on your circumstances. This includes any other money that’s available to cover the costs, for example from an insurance policy or the deceased person’s estate.
MAKING THINGS EASIER
How to use Tell Us Once
A registrar will explain the Tell Us Once service when you register a death. Tell Us Once is a service that lets you tell multiple government organisations at once about a death.
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They will either:
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complete the Tell Us Once service with you
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give you a unique reference number so you can use the service yourself online or by phone
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The registrar will give you a number to call. This includes Relay UK if you cannot hear or speak on the phone. If you’re a British Sign Language (BSL) user, there’s a video relay service if you’re on a computer - find out how to use the service on mobile or tablet.
You must use the service within 28 days of getting your unique reference number.
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If you cannot register the death because an inquest is underway, you can still ask a registrar for a unique reference number. You’ll need to get an interim death certificate from the coroner holding the inquest first.