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DOMESTIC ABUSE 

DOMESTIC ABUSE

STAYING SAFE

Warning: if you are worried about someone knowing you have visited this website please read the following safety information. Sometimes things aren't as they appear.

General security – be aware.

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This guide contains technical advice about what is possible to protect your devices (including your children’s devices if you have children), but different parts of this may need to happen at different times. This will depend on your individual circumstances. For example, if you change your password, someone may realise this has happened when they attempt to log in and this could lead to them escalating their behaviours. Your safety is the most important thing and some of this might be for you to consider at a later stage, for instance, when no longer in immediate danger or you have left the situation.

 

It is completely normal to want to get rid of a device or remove their access, but before you do this, you can be strategic about how to plan for your safety. If it would be helpful to talk this through with someone, please use a safe device to contact a professional for help. If you do not use a password to log on to your computer, someone else may be able to access your email (if your email password is saved on the device or you don’t log out after checking your email) and track your internet usage. Make sure to log out after checking your email by pressing File then Log out, rather than pressing the X to close the email window.

 

The following information may not completely hide your tracks. Many browser types have features that display recently visited sites. There is also spyware that can be used more secretly to track your activity. The safest way to find information on the internet, would be at a local library, a friend’s house, or at work.

You can however delete your browser history but said above isn’t 100 percent guaranteed.

lick menu > Safety > Delete Browsing History or press Ctrl+Shift+Delete. Ensure the “History” option is checked here and click “Delete”. 

On a mobile device Clear cookies, files, and other browsing data

  1. Tap the menu button.

  2. Tap Settings .

  3. Scroll down to Privacy and security .

  4. Tap Delete browsing data .

  5. Put a mark next to the items you want to clear.

 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OVERVIEW

We define domestic abuse as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading, and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, in the majority of cases by a partner or ex-partner, but also by a family member or carer.

Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:

 

SIGNS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE

Emotional abuse

Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • belittle you, or put you down?

  • blame you for the abuse or arguments?

  • deny that abuse is happening, or play it down?

  • isolate you from your family and friends?

  • stop you going to college or work?

  • make unreasonable demands for your attention?

  • accuse you of flirting or having affairs?

  • tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?

  • control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things?

Threats and intimidation

Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • threaten to hurt or kill you?

  • destroy things that belong to you?

  • stand over you, invade your personal space?

  • threaten to kill themselves or the children?

  • read your emails, texts or letters?

  • harass or follow you?

Physical abuse

The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways.

Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • slap, hit or punch you?

  • push or shove you?

  • bite or kick you?

  • burn you?

  • choke you or hold you down?

  • throw things?

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, whether they’re male or female.

Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

  • touch you in a way you don’t want to be touched?

  • make unwanted sexual demands?

  • hurt you during sex?

  • pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?

  • pressure you to have sex?

If your partner, or former partner, has sex with you when you don’t want to, this is rape.

Have you ever felt afraid of your partner or former partner?

Have you ever changed your behaviour because you’re afraid of what your partner, or former partner, might do?

Support a friend if they’re being abused

If you’re worried a friend is being abused, let them know you’ve noticed something is wrong.

They might not be ready to talk, but try to find quiet times when they can talk if they choose to.

If someone confides in you that they’re suffering domestic abuse:

  • listen, and take care not to blame them

  • acknowledge it takes strength to talk to someone about experiencing abuse

  • give them time to talk, but don’t push them to talk if they don’t want to

  • acknowledge they’re in a frightening and difficult situation

  • tell them nobody deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser has said

  • support them as a friend – encourage them to express their feelings, and allow them to make their own decisions

  • don’t tell them to leave the relationship if they’re not ready – that’s their decision

  • ask if they have suffered physical harm – if so, offer to go with them to a hospital or GP

  • help them report the assault to the police if they choose to

  • be ready to provide information on organisations LINK that offer help for people experiencing domestic abuse

If you are worried that a friend, neighbour or loved one is a victim of domestic abuse then you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free and confidential advice, 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.

If you believe there is an immediate risk of harm to someone, or it is an emergency, you should always call 999.

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